It is difficult to see my other children grow up. The pictures on the wall do not represent the children that I now have in my home. We are all different...we are all older...
our life is moving on...this change breaks my heart. Soon another baby picture will be on the wall and her picture will grow and change...his will stay frozen in time. I wonder about the millennium how will it be? It will be perfect I am told. I know Sage will be given back to me. I know I will have him again the same way I layed him down...I have no doubt about this. This gives me so much peace and comfort. I know the other kids will be their but, like I said they are older, they will be older. I do not know how Heavenly Father is going to make this feeling go away. The feeling of missing out on raising Sage with these brothers and sisters. Running around this house, making noise and messes. I know Sage watches over us and sees our lives but the fact remains...these kids are growing up without Sage in the physical sense. All I know is there is a plan. Heavenly Father has promised that all will be right in the end. I feel like all of us are missing out on so much. I have to keep the faith...somehow the end will be better than the beginning. In the grand scheme of things none of the things we are missing will matter? I hope so...I really hope so...I have to tell myself this daily...when it is all said and done...everything will be just fine. I guess it does not matter if I do not have all the answers right now...Heavenly Father already hammered out the details long ago... So even though I don't understand and see everything...I will go and do what my Father has commanded me to do...I will continue to move forward knowing that somehow someway all of this will be okay in the end. I cling to the Atonement of Jesus, it is my rod of iron. It is perfect and the love he has for me is perfect so in the end things will work out perfectly.
Montana Trip Part I
4 years ago