Thursday, April 23, 2009

A Boy & His Dog

Who new when I took these photos that two months later both Sage and Flash would be gone. After Sage passed I would look at these pictures and wonder why Flash was still here and Sage was gone. Now with Flash's passing I look at these photo's and wonder if perhaps they are together.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Pictures of Sage.....Tender Mercy!

January we took Sage to Walmart to get some pictures taken. We only bought the $7.99 package and did not buy 1 of each pose. After he passed away I remembered that Walmart had more pictures of him. I prayed that they would still have them. Mom and I went to Walmart and they did indeed have them! We waited to order them until today. When we went to Walmart to purchase them, we figured it would cost us an arm and a leg to get his pictures but, we wanted them all. The lady working there told us about this sale they were having. We could purchase his CD with all the pictures on it and have the rights to print whatever we wanted for only $30! Heavenly Father knew just how much I needed these pictures of Sage. He provided us with one of his Tender Mercies! We could afford them and they were still in the system! I can't wait to order these prints from my computer! I was so happy! It was fun to get new pictures of Sage! He was such a darling little boy! I remember Spencer and I went to Target the day before and picked out his little outfit. I thought he looked so handsome! He always looked good in blue! I remember it was hard to get his picture taken. He kept trying to crawl off of the table! He was more interested in getting up on his hands and knees and rocking back and forth. I love this little boy so much. I miss him so much. He was always so adorable! I am so thankful I have these pictures of him! We debated back and forth if we should get his hair cut before his picture was taken. Spencer decided we should wait. The next day I cut his hair off really short. He looked so different and I was sad that he was getting so big. I look back now and I am so glad that I was the one that got to give him a hair cut!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

My Wedding Gown

When, I bought my wedding gown it had a big open area in the back, it was a heart shaped opening. My Mom had a rather difficult time trying to figure out how to fill in the heart to make my gown Temple Worthy.  I was excited to be getting married  to Spencer but, even more excited that I was worthy of the Temple and all of its blessings. I knew that my Heavenly Father was pleased with me and all that I had been through to prepare myself for a Temple wedding.
I found that my heart was still saddened because, we had not yet been sealed to our oldest child William. I knew that if I kept the faith that one day he would be sealed to us. That joyous day came and we were sealed to William and my Heart was full!
Within minutes of Sage leaving my arms I asked my Mother if she would make his burial clothing for me. My Mom said yes right away which, was what I needed to hear. After, thinking about it for a little bit, I realized that was a pretty tall order and that it might be to hard for Mom to do mentally. I talked with Mom about it and she said we will figure this out and to not worry. I remember Mom asking me what pattern I wanted and the details I wanted. (If anyone knows me they know I am very picky and need to know all the details) I told Mom to just pick it all out I could not, I remember telling her that whatever she picked out would be perfect. My Mom did figure it out and I did not have to worry. Sharron Huish an old friend of my Moms was called and I had peace in my heart knowing she would be the perfect person, to help Mom make his clothing. Sharron and Mom did a beautiful job. I just sat and held each peace as it was completed. Thank you both for doing this for me.
I remember thinking about how happy I was to have that Big Heart filled in the back of my Wedding Dress. My Mother, Spencer and my Savior Jesus Christ had taken my broken heart and made it whole again. My wedding dress now has the big heart shape taken out of the back once again and was used to sew the collars in Sage's clothing. I know that over time Spencer and my Heart's will mend. It is going to take time, faith, and patience. I know that my Savior Jesus Christ will mend my Heart and make it whole once again. What a comfort it was to me to know that Spencer and I had been sealed together forever. I take great comfort in that promise everyday.
"Jesus Christ is the Way. He is the Light and Life, Bread, and Water, the Beginning and the End, the Resurrection and the Life, the Savior of the world, the Truth, and the Way. There is only one way to happiness and fulfillment. He is the Way. Every other way, any other way, is foolishness.....He is the Way."
The Way
Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge
Of the Seventy

This is my Testimony of these most Scared Doctrine truths.
In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.
Crystal Eldredge

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Happy Easter Sage and Uncle Kenny!

Spencer and I spent most our day running errands. While we were driving around Spencer asked me if I wanted to go to the Cemetery? Yes was my reply. When I got there all of the flowers from the funeral were dead and blown all over the place. This bothered me something terrible. I felt that he had only been gone 3 weeks today and that I had already failed as a Mother to do something for him. I left the Cemetery in tears. Spencer being the Husband that I love dearly, drove me straight to the JoAnn's and told me to buy something for Sage and that he would take me back to the Cemetery. I decided that he needed some type of headstone until, Uncle Kenny's got replaced and Sage's headstone gets ordered. When we left the 2nd time it was easier because, I felt like I did something to take care of my baby. I pray daily for Sage and I know that he is where the Lord needs him to be and that he is watching over all of us. I want to Celebrate Easter with cheer and have joy in my heart! Sage because of what our Savior Jesus Christ did for us, I know that Daddy and I will get to be with you again someday! Families truly are forever! Love You Through Eternity!

Friday, April 3, 2009

The Day After

March 20, 2009

I remember watching the clock in my bedroom the day after Sage passed away. As I saw the numbers change to 8:27am I couldn't believe that it had been 24 hours since Crystal had called me to say they had found Sage in his crib. 24 hours without his hugs, laughter, giggles and kissing those chunky little cheeks. I can't explain it but somehow "time" had changed. Things were moving faster and things that had seemed so important the day before had suddenly become "Stuff and Nonsense".
My perspective and how I viewed things had forever changed. We had been unemployed since July and that was no longer the crisis I once thought it was. Somehow we managed to get by, with blessings from the Lord, our needs were taken care of. Did we take the time to thank him for our blessings along the way? Did we let all the "little" things keep us from recognizing how rich we truly were? As I thought about the many prayers of thanks that our family had offered up to the Father over the years I new the answer to that question was "yes". Yes we had taken the time to thank the Father for our blessings. I was comforted in knowing that Crystal and Spencer had family prayer and scripture study with their children every night. What a blessing to know that they would not have to bare the burden of guilt because they had not taken the time to thank the Father for their blessings. All of us took comfort in the fact that we had been and were still grateful for our blessings.
Crystal and Spencer had spent the night with us. There wasn't much sleeping going on mostly tears and talking. We had an appointment with the mortuary that morning. Such a strange thing to watch your daughter plan her sons funeral. It's supposed to be the other way around. No parent ever wants to answer the question, "What size of casket do you need?" "Do you want the casket vaulted?"
Crystal and Spencer had recently returned home from vacationing in San Diego and had loved all of the brightly colored flowers. Sage had loved the flowers and they had laid him on the grass in front of them so take his picture. When the time came to pick out the flowers for Sage's casket they new exactly what they wanted.
After arrangements were made at the mortuary we went to the cemetery. Sage was going to be buried with his Uncle Kenny. Kenny(Spencer's younger brother) died in a car accident when he was 20 years old. It was such a comfort to know Sage and Kenny would rest together.
When we left the cemetery Crystal wanted to go to the Church book store to purchase a picture of Christ with a child. Amanda called about that time and surprised us by saying she was already at the book store and wanted to buy Crystal a painting. We met Amanda at Deseret Books and quickly found the perfect painting. Amanda's in-laws in Utah had all donated money to Crystal and Spencer and they wanted to get something to honor Sage's memory. With the money the Griggs Family sent and help from Amanda and John they were able to buy this beautiful painting.
We went back to Crystal and Spencer's home where family and friends were expected to arrive. I can not explain how strongly the Spirit could be felt in their home. It was as if we were surrounded by Angels. Spencer, Great Uncle Mike and Great Grandpa Pat went outside and finished planting Sage's tree. Great Grandpa thought it was nice that we had chosen a Chinese Elm because that was the tree his parents had planted in the front yard of his childhood home in Flagstaff, AZ.
They planted the tree near the kids play set so one day they could play in the shade of Sage's tree. Crystal and Spencer serve as the Ward Missionaries in Morning Side Ward. Two of the missionaries stopped by with the Bishop's son, who is preparing to serve a mission, to comfort and visit with them. I had to take a photo of their scriptures on the counter. Something about seeing those scriptures touched my heart.
Crystal had the DVD, "Reflections of Christ" playing. The missionaries were later reported to say that they had come to comfort Crystal and Spencer and instead walked away feeling comforted. We all enjoyed watching the video it's so beautiful and a wonderful testament to the life and teachings of Christ.
Today was also Spencer's 32nd birthday. We were so busy with everything else and hadn't planned anything for him. But my sweet 15 year old daughter, RaLee, made a cake then called her big brother and had him take her birthday shopping. She then called all of the family and planned a surprised birthday party for Spencer. It was so sweet to see all the little children around daddy and Uncle Spencer. Spencer later said that this party meant so much to him being surounded by all the little children.
I was so touched to see Crystal's brothers, Royal and DJ, comforting, serving and being so compassionate with their big sister.
Love from a Grandfather
Amanda and John had a bush in their yard for two years that had never bloomed. The morning Sage passed away they noticed the bush had Finally grown the chute that would soon bloom. It made them feel like Sage was reminding them that life continues on, that he is still with us and that we would all be together again.
I am so thankful for the Gospel and for the promise of eternity. How empty and lost we would feel at this time without the assurance that Jesus lives and that we are an eternal family. The blossom on this bush testifies that the gentle hand of God can be seen in all things...that life continues...and that all things will be renewed at the resurrection...testifying of his goodness and tender mercies.