Friday, November 6, 2009

Meet My Friend

I would like you to meet my best friend. His name is Grief. We met each other unexpectedly and became friends instantly. He follows me wherever I go. When I go to sleep at night he tucks me in and whispers in my ear, "I'll see you in the morning." When I awake surely he has held true to his promise and greets me with a frown. He frowns because he is sad he had to meet me. He is the most loyal friend in the world. You can forget him for a while and not even think about him and he is willing to return at the drop of a dime. Grief is unselfish though. When other friends are around, he takes a back seat. He is quieted by the chattering of my other friends. It's nice to have a break from Him. Sometimes he's unrelenting and can be a drag. Other times I am grateful he's my friend because when he's around I know I haven't Forgotten.
A while back he was my very best friend. Slowly other friends are taking his place and he doesn't visit as often. I have even made friends with Joy again. I thought I had lost her friendship forever. Joy is a good friend too. Hopefully one day I will be able to be as good friends with Joy as I was with Grief. Maybe one day we can all be friends and share the same heart. To live in the Joy of today, to remember the grief of yesterday and to love all of my tomorrows. When all three of us can attain the same heart, I know our new best friend will be peace."
-Michelle Krainich

I try everyday to find Joy and Peace in my journey. Spencer and I work so hard everyday to learn to live in our New Normal to laugh and cry and enjoy each and everyday of our new life. People have said to me you need to get over this and move on…….that life will go on. Thank you so much for your kind heartfelt words of encouragement and understanding. I am well aware that life goes on and my life has gone on. Like I said, we are working hard at learning to deal with such a loss.

I honestly feel that my Heavenly Father is cheering for me in Heaven daily! Spencer and I are moving on and living our lives to the fullest.
My only words I have to say to you, until “you” and you all know who “you are”………have to hold your lifeless baby in your arms, turn it over to the county, purchase a casket, watch as they lower him into the ground and bury that baby, please do not judge Spencer and me and tell us to just get over it and life goes on. We are on a Journey and we are enduring that Journey faithfully, peacefully, and joyfully until the very end. I hope and Pray that none of “you” ever have to meet my new friend Grief.
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8 comments:

Mama Byrd said...

I don't know how you find such healing words to post. I think that's why I visit so often, I still grieve 3 yrs later and one daughter later...life went on but my heart has stood still.

Jessica Caldwell said...

I am so sorry that you have had to become friends with grief. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you and Spencer everyday.

Even though you might not see it I have seen my big sister slowly comming back. I have missed her so much, I'm so thankful for you and your testimony. I wish everyday that you still had your baby I'm so sorry that this has happened to your family.

Fot those of you who have told this family to move on and heal. I can only pray that Heavenly Father never needs to take your child home before you. You will fail.

Belle's Blog said...

Crystal -
Its been 15 years no day goes by that I dont miss Dustin! Yes, we do move on - never the same! God eases the pain as time goes by, but it never goes away because that is our children we are giving back to God. Not an easy thing to do! Love to you and your family ! Stacy

Raven Marie said...

I have been following your blogs since the passing of Sage, I read Kelly's Korner and my heart just broke when she had written about your son. I believe you are a very strong woman and the fact that you write about it and share your story with everybody is just amazing. You know what works for you and instead of bottling emotions up you share them with the world. Please know that your stories touch peoples hearts and those that do not agree with your ways have not experienced a great loss.

Misty said...

We've been told to move on, too. It's a hard, hard thing. We've living on, living with the hurt, trying to find healing. Our stories are very different, but holy cow - - it makes me MAD to know some one has those same expectations of you, that they've had for me.

Deeanna said...

Crystal...

Please know that you have people who are cheering for you here too. We love you and wish that this journey was one you didn't have to take. Don't let anyone dictate to you how you should be feeling or when you should 'get over it.' These are your feelings, this is your journey -not theirs, and I'm sure nobody is more proud of you than Sage. I'm sure he's become your biggest fan watching you travel through this difficult journey back to the Celestial kingdom to be with him again. :o)

Hugs!
Deeanna

Amanda and John said...

Crystal,

Very well said. I too am sorry that you had to become friends with grief. You have done such an amazing job atlearning you new normal. I don't know what people 'think' the allotted amount of time should be for grieving for the loss of son, daughter, mother, father, or any other loved one, but they have no right to tell you that it's been too long already. I don't feel that there is an allotted time slot. I feel that 50 years from now you will still feel pain, and sorrow from his loss, and that's okay too, because that is your right. May those that feel that way never have to have grieve tuck them into bed at night.

The Wise Family said...

How on EARTH could anyone judge you???? I'm so sorry.... Please don't listen to "those" people. We love you Crystal and are here cheering you on. I think of you and pray for you and your sweet family more than you know....
If there is anything I can do, please let me know...