I would like you to meet my best friend. His name is Grief. We met each other unexpectedly and became friends instantly. He follows me wherever I go. When I go to sleep at night he tucks me in and whispers in my ear, "I'll see you in the morning." When I awake surely he has held true to his promise and greets me with a frown. He frowns because he is sad he had to meet me. He is the most loyal friend in the world. You can forget him for a while and not even think about him and he is willing to return at the drop of a dime. Grief is unselfish though. When other friends are around, he takes a back seat. He is quieted by the chattering of my other friends. It's nice to have a break from Him. Sometimes he's unrelenting and can be a drag. Other times I am grateful he's my friend because when he's around I know I haven't Forgotten.
A while back he was my very best friend. Slowly other friends are taking his place and he doesn't visit as often. I have even made friends with Joy again. I thought I had lost her friendship forever. Joy is a good friend too. Hopefully one day I will be able to be as good friends with Joy as I was with Grief. Maybe one day we can all be friends and share the same heart. To live in the Joy of today, to remember the grief of yesterday and to love all of my tomorrows. When all three of us can attain the same heart, I know our new best friend will be peace."
I try everyday to find Joy and Peace in my journey. Spencer and I work so hard everyday to learn to live in our New Normal to laugh and cry and enjoy each and everyday of our new life. People have said to me you need to get over this and move on…….that life will go on. Thank you so much for your kind heartfelt words of encouragement and understanding. I am well aware that life goes on and my life has gone on. Like I said, we are working hard at learning to deal with such a loss.
I honestly feel that my Heavenly Father is cheering for me in Heaven daily! Spencer and I are moving on and living our lives to the fullest.
My only words I have to say to you, until “you” and you all know who “you are”………have to hold your lifeless baby in your arms, turn it over to the county, purchase a casket, watch as they lower him into the ground and bury that baby, please do not judge Spencer and me and tell us to just get over it and life goes on. We are on a Journey and we are enduring that Journey faithfully, peacefully, and joyfully until the very end. I hope and Pray that none of “you” ever have to meet my new friend Grief.
Montana Trip Part I
5 years ago