Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The Essay

The morning Sage passed away his Aunt RaLee was there.  She was there when he entered this world and she was there when he passed away.
RaLee comforting Crystal when she was in labor with Sage

Sharing a moment over Sage's Casket

RaLee was 15 years old and a sophomore in high school when Sage died. This experience has touched her life in many ways. Before her freshman year at college, this fall, she went on a trip to California. Where she visited many of the beaches up and down the California coast. Her love of the ocean, coupled with Sage's memory, influenced her first college essay. I was so touched by her words, that I had to share it.

"I stand on the edge of the midnight blue shore paralyzed by the ocean's beauty. The majestic tune of the oceans breeze fills my ears and sends an enchanting feeling down my body. Forever is in my sight, serenity engulfs every inch of me, and at this moment in time, I am at peace. All of a sudden the oceans substance begins to spiral into a dark suffocating hole. The wind joins in by shouting out its fierce chords that anxiously take me into the abyss of darkness.

My eyes fly open and I see a familiar face shouting words to me that I cannot comprehend. I scan the room and notice that the clock reads 8:32 am and I can hear panicked voice's outside my neon green door. My father drags me out of bed and repeats himself three more times. I pull myself together and fixate on the movements of his mouth. Within five seconds my body sinks back into the black hole of my prior dream.

Cold sweats drench my body, my lips begin to quiver, and my heart is pounding through my chest, as if I had just finished running a marathon. My body is immobilized and I cannot move a single muscle. I stand beside my bed as my dad runs to the closet, grabs my shoes and puts them on my feet. I playback the words he has been shouting at me in my head repeatedly. "Sage is dead, Sage is dead. My grandson is dead." I'm steady staring at the porcelain angel on my bedroom dresser and a rush of adrenaline fills my soul and I take off running for the truck.

With my knees pressed hard against my chest, I try hard to focus on the surroundings that fly past me outside my window. Tears fill my eyes and everything becomes a blur. I reach for my chest to retrieve the knife that was plunged into my heart, soon coming to realize that there was no knife there to begin with. It feels as if i had been driving for a lifetime and suddenly we arrive at my sisters' home. My family runs up the giant staircase and makes a dash for the wooden doors at the end of the hall. The door flies open and sunlight drowns my eyesight out back to where everything was only a blur. I search for my sight and my eyes fixate on the fallen angel sprawled out on the floor.

It took all my will to walk towards the baby boy. With each dreaded step I pushed myself to take, two more knives were thrown into my heart. I make it to the fragile angel and without thinking, I fell to my knees. Chaos arises around me and yet my soul and mind are at a standstill. I reach for his hand and grasp onto it lightly. The words, "I Love you Sage," drift out of my mouth and dance into his ear like the ocean's breeze. And at this moment in time, I know he is at peace.

I close my eyes and suddenly I'm standing on the edge of eternity staring into the depths of forever. The crystal blue water sways its graceful dance with the touch of the sweet chimes of the breeze. A gust of wind fills my soul and wraps around my body like a warm embrace that I have missed dearly. I glance up at the sky and a tear races down my cheek and crashes into the white sand. Gusts of wind circle around me and the words, "I love you Sage," part from my mouth and begin dancing away with the breeze to the Heavens above."

By, Aunt RaLee Jewel Reidhead


Sheryl said...

So beautifully written and made me cry.

Cheryl said...

Just beautiful...It is amazing how such a seemingly small precious child, Sage can have such an enormous lasting impact on so many people.

What a special Aunt and essay about a beloved child.

Great to hear from your family again with a post. I have missed you.