As most of you know a few days before Sage passed away we spent a couple of days together as a family in San Diego. It was spring time and all of the flowers were in bloom! The night before Sage passed away we spent the last hours of his life walking around the garden department at Home Depo. I picked out a special flower bush for each child. You can read the rest of the story here...The Day Sage passed away.
I sorta laugh when I think about things......well I only laugh about one thing....Sister Bourgeous, my Bishops wife, asked me the day Sage passed away, "Is there anything we can do for you?" Why Yes! I have a bunch of flowers in the back of my van that need to be planted in my back yard. This is where I tend to giggle remembering her face and reply, "Umm yes Honey we will get them out of the van and they will not die". I think about that request and giggle. She was probably thinking, hello crazy lady....your baby just passed away and your worried about your yard?
Over the past year I have spent countless hours in my backyard. I think I have offered up thousands of prayers while in my back yard working on Sages garden. I work and spend time thinking about my little guy. I love the Spirit of peace and comfort that I feel when ever I look out the window and see his garden.
I think about how much these plants have grown in the past year. I look at how beautiful they have become! I saw in my mind the night before Sage passed away, the vision of what my yard could become with alot of hard work and dedication. The Lord sees me as I can become and he is helping me grow into the Daughter of God he knows I can be. I still have many more countless years of hard work ahead of me both in the yard and in Spirit. I know that I can and will become the beautiful Daughter that he intended me to be in the beginning.
We planted another tree this year on the day we buried Sage. I look forward to watching this tree grow and develope over the next couple of years. If Sister B. is wondering no, none of my plants died that where sitting in the back of the van! They have all lived and become so beautiful to look at!
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3 comments:
Love it! It's absolutely beautiful.
It is beautiful!
And I loved the comment about asking the bishop's wife to take care of the flowers. I wrote in my blog how I told my best friend that Andrew had died and in the same breath asked her to make the funeral potatoes. I think people know we are a little crazy but it is funny to remember some of those things that may seem a little "off" to the unknowing eye.
Thanks for your post!
The yard is beautiful, you're beautiful, Spencer is beautiful and all of your children are too. The work ahead is to keep growing more beautiful and to let the yard be physical evidence that all of you are growing as well.
It is funny what funny little details come to mind at a time like that, but that must be what holds a person together for those few nightmarish days and nights.
Love you all!
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