246 Gloroius Days

I am having a difficult time knowing that in a few weeks Sage would be turning 1 years old. I should be planning a birthday party and not be picking out a headstone. Part of you wants to let Satan win and become a very bitter, mad, pissed off individual. I have decided that this would get me no where fast. Instead I have to constantly look around me and see my many blessings. See the beauty of my Heavenly Fathers plan and cling to the eternal perspective of all of this.

Most babies die from SIDS around 2-4 months old. It is rare for an infant to die from SIDS at 8 months 2 days old though not unheard of. If Sage had passed away at 4 months old it would have been around the holidays and most of the other kids birthdays. This would have been awful for us to bare. Instead he passed away a few months after the holidays. Giving our family many more cherished moments with our little boy!

I think about death alot and wonder would you rather know ahead of time that the person is going to pass away or would you rather have no idea. This is something I will struggle with forever. I watched this video and it broke my heart. Elliot had the same mission as Sage did. They both needed to come to earth and receive their body's and to teach all of those around them. Elliot had to struggle for every breath and eating was even a chore. I think back over Sages life and his life was perfect he only knew what pain felt like a few times. For this I am grateful. I am grateful I did not have to see my baby suffer and struggle. I am grateful for all 246 HEALTHY days I got to spend with Sage on this earth. I am looking forward to his birthday with hope. I am going to celebrate the time we had together. Celebrate his life and celebrate that he made it back home to his loving Heavenly Father and Mother.