Mommy your Beautiful

My baby Brother Royal is getting married in 2 weeks. I decided that I needed to take some time and take care of myself. I went to the eye Dr. got fitted for new contacts and glasses. I got my hair highlighted and cut. My eyes brows and upper lip waxed. I also bought some new makeup and a new shirt to wear to the Bridal shower. Aunt RaLee painted my toenails.  It felt nice taking care of myself. Spencer watched all of the kids so I could go and have some fun.
When I walked into the house all dolled up, William wrapped his arms around me and started crying. I said honey what is the matter? He said Mom you look so beautiful! You look like the Mommy I used to have before Sage died! I of course started crying. I know that I have not taken care of myself these past 11 months. I have not cared about what I looked like. Spencer and I have been in survival mode. I know that I will never be that same Mommy ever again. But it meant the world to me to have my Son tell me I looked beautiful to him. I felt a ray of hope that maybe some part of the old Crystal is somewhere in there. I  have looked so worn out and tired. I looked on the outside how I was feeling on the inside. I still have a long ways to go before I feel better on the inside, that will take much longer than a good makeover. That part is on the Lord's time.